Thursday, 7 November 2013

The Devils Inside of Me

I'm locked at my room, just thinking. Thinking about everything. Everything that I've done, everything that I do, everything that I want to be done, and everything that I will do. Actually, everything that I want to be done doesn't really matter. seriously. It's all about everything that I've done and that I will do. I'm sure I've hurt so many people, and I've been hurt. We all know that people hurt and are hurt. But that's not the point. The point is do we realize everything that we've done? beside is it right or is it wrong, does it hurt or does it not?
I remembered when I was only about 10, I was so happy. I just thought I had a beautiful life at that time but the next year everything just changed dramatically and I remembered the first time I went to elementary  school, I started to hate myself, I hated my life. I didn't like my school. I just had few friends. I refused to get along with people. Even when I went to plus class, it didn't change my feels. Even when I was chosen again to stay in plus class, won the story-telling, even when I never got bullied by people, and what-so-ever, they all didn't make any difference to myself for hating my life. It all continued until I was in 12th grade of high school. But I thanked that I had awesome good friends around me :) I really appreciated being with them! :D I took a rest for 1 year after my graduation from high school. In 2013, I went to college. I decided to go to Central Java. I'm glad that I have a great mom, she always tends to respect my choices. Many of my relatives suggested me/her to go to college in Medan or Jakarta, and I was glad she let me to decide my own choice! :)
But on the other hand, I never made her happy (in my opinion). Everything that I want, beside that I need, she always satisfies me. She gave to me all I wanted. I remembered after I graduated from high school, I asked her to buy me a Canon 60D, my sister disagreed because my photography isn't well yet, so maybe I could take another camera less than Canon 60D, but frankly, I was so happy when my mom bought me Canon 60D! :D and when I wanted a guitar, she bought me that! and also my phones, treatments,and so many things... and actually by reading this, you might think I'm such a happy girl by having a great mother, but actually, you're wrong! I grew up as a stubborn girl. all the things that I have, they becomes my own devils. the loves that my mom gave to me had become the devils of me. when I couldn't get what I want, I would be the girl you never knew before. actually, it's not my mom's faults! I'm an adult, I should have known about it! I should have known how to control myself.
But other than that, after decided to live by myself, I just love being who I am. I love my life. we know life changes as people change too, the main point of that is is it to be better or to be worse.
God knows I have my own devils, and I know I can't get the devils of me away but I know that I can change them to be the angels of me.
God Bless us <3


  1. A lot of people seek to immediately start off marketing on-line via a web site Sell business only to discover these people create few revenue.

  2. Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You've done an impressive task and our whole neighborhood can be thankful to you. Also visit my web site :

    Modern Living Room

    Living Room Decor 2015

    Living Room Table Sets

    Living Room Theater

    Living Room Furniture

  3. Very nice website and articles. I will be realy very pleased to visit your website. Now I am found that we actually want. I check your website everyday and attempt to learn something from a blog. Thank you and looking forward to your new submit.

    software drivers download

  4. Some people are incredibly fond of reading books can distinguish the best book being a guide and a book which is not good. It all hangs with your reading through experience.
    2016 Toyota Fortuner Price and Release Date
    2016 Toyota RAV4 Special Edition
    Mclaren 650s Spider Price UK
    Porsche 930 For Sale UK

  5. I had been very impressed by this post, this site happens to be pleasant news Thanks very much for this interesting post, and I meet them more often then I visited this web site.
    2016 Toyota Sequoia
    2016 Toyota Sienna Price and Release Date
    2016 Toyota Yaris Features
    2016 BMW Z4 Review

  6. I really like this, you definitely can describe every part of the story into very little detail.
    2016 Camaro ZL1
    2016 Dodge Barracuda
    2016 Ford F 150 Raptor
    2016 Jaguar XE

  7. I am extremely impressed using your writing abilities as well as with the format on your weblog. Is that it a paid subject matter or did an individual customize it by yourself? Anyway stay up the excellent high quality writing, it is uncommon to find out a nice blog in this way one today..
    2016 Lexus GS F
    2016 Lincoln Continental
    2016 Lincoln MKX
    2016 Lincoln Navigator

  8. To an extraordinary degree enlightening and furthermore supportive. My accessory and i had all the earmarks of being endeavoring to discover these information in any case you will discover limited techniques. Esteem it with respect to giving these information. Significantly surprising convey. truly accommodating. of all districts I've research on the same thought, this spot is really educational site pag
    2016 Scion iA
    2016 Scion iM
    2016 Toyota 4Runner
    2016 Toyota Mirai

  9. An extraordinarily awesome online journal passage. We are really appreciative for your online journal section. You will find a lot of techniques in the wake of passing by your post. I was unequivocally searching for. An obligation of appreciation is all together for such post and please keep it up. Inconceivable work.
    2016 Volvo S60
    New 2016 Volvo XC90 Review
    2016 AUDI S6
    2016 Bentley Bentayga

  10. If you want usb data recovery, you must MiniTool Power Data Recovery free edition.

  11. Toko Foredi Resmi di Yogyakarta Bisa COD
    Toko Foredi Resmi di Yogyakarta Bisa COD
    Toko Foredi Resmi di Yogyakarta Bisa COD
    Distributor Foredi Yogyakarta
    Distributor Foredi Yogyakarta
    Distributor Foredi Yogyakarta
    Jual Foredi Gel Murah Online
    Jual Foredi Gel Murah Online
    Jual Foredi Gel Murah Online

  12. Everyone has a Devil in his/her soul. And never go wrong if you have controlled.

  13. Your writing is very impressive, do not despair and remain aware of who we are and where we come from.
    Aneuk Food92
    action camera diary


  14. Exceptionally decent site and articles. I will be realy extremely satisfied to visit your site. Presently I am discovered that we really need. I check your site regular and endeavor to take in something from a blog. Much obliged to you and anticipating your new submit.
    2017 Volkswagen Tiguan Price and Release Date
    2017 Volkswagen Passat R-Line Exterior And Interior
    2017 Volkswagen Jetta Review and Price
    2017 Volkswagen Jetta GLI
    2017 Volkswagen Golf Review Price Specs

  15. After wedding memorable moments, couples seek a honeymoon destination where they can find every thing pleasant and romantic.

  16. some energy bars are just too sweet for my own taste. is there a sugar free energy bar?` Enail Kit

  17. Good blog post. I definitely appreciate this site. Continue the good work! gogoanime

  18. Delighted in perusing the article above, truly clarifies everything in detail, the article is fascinating and viable. Much thanks to you and waiting for your upcoming articles - Keys To Successful Marriage

  19. I agree with your post as this article presents a complete disregard and lack of understanding of how culture should be presented. From reading the apology post it appears as though the creators were attempting to create a psychological ‘click bait’ style post that was intended to draw traffic by making the statement that people were doing something wrong. However in the actual content they offered no credible evidence and appeared to merely suggest their own opinion on how the activity of eating this dish should be performed. Overall it was an ill advised way of promoting an opinion piece and hopefully next time additional thought will be given before articles are published.Top Rated For Baby


  20. Our online courses are designed without walls and without invisible ceilings. And that means irrespective of who you are, you’re going to have access to it all. Nothing held back, just empowering content that will not only teach you what’s possible but also make you powerful.course